ADULT ABUSE ABANDMENT

WHEN I WAS IN JR. HIGH SOME GUYS WOULD GIVE ME THAT LOOK. THAT TERRIBLE UP AND DOWN LOOK IT MADE  ME FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE TO BE AROUND BOYS. 
WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL A COUPLE TIMES MEN TRYED TO PICK ME UP TO GET IN THE CAR..  ONE OF THEM WAS JUST WALKING HOME AND THE OTHER ONE WAS WHEN I WAS WAITING FOR A BUS.  ONE TIME THERE WAS A MAN THAT WAS STOCKING ME. AND WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL AND ON THE WAY HOME .  HE NEW WHEN I WAS COMING.  WELL .(HE DID GET CAUGHT).  WHEN I CAME HOME I GOT A JOB AND THERE WAS A TIME  I WAS KICK OUT  OF THE HOUSE .  I DID NOT WANT TO BE AFRAID OF MEN AND I ASK SOMEONE THAT I THOUGHT I CAN TRUST.  HE USE TO BE A BISHOP.  I ASK HIM A QUESTION AND HE TOOK IT AND TWIST IT AROUND .  I HAD SO MUCH TRUST IN HIM.THAT I COULD NOT MOVE WHEN HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY KNEE.   I WAS IN SHOCK THAT I COULD NOT MOVE. AND YES I WAS SEXUAL ABUSE BY HIM.                

 AND THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I GOT MARRIED, MY HUSBAND BECAME VERY CONTROLLING AND WHAT EVER I DO OR SAY. I WAS WRONG.  HE WOULD NOT TALK TO ME AT TIMES AND THEN AT TIMES HE WOULD JUST CUT ME DOWN ALL THE TIME.  RJ WOULD CRY WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS ANGRY WITH ME.  THEN HE WOULD TAKE RJ AWAY FROM ME AND.  I NEVER KNOW IF I WILL GET RJ BACK.  WHEN HE BROUGHT RJ BACK TO BED THEN I KNEW I HAVE RJ BACK.   HE WOULD NOT HOLD MY HAND IN PUBLIC. AND HE DID IT IN A WAY THAT PEOPLE NEW, HE DID NOT CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK.   THERE WAS TIMES HE WOULD NOT WALK BESIDE ME. 
I FOUND OUT FROM HIS  SHRINK THAT HE ABUSE ME IN ALL ABUSES THERE IS IN THE BOOK.  THERE WERE TIMES  I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE HE WOULD NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE.  HE SAID IF I LEAVE I WOULD NOT GET RJ.  I JUST WANTED TO GO FOR A WALK. AND LET HIM COOL DOWN. MY HUSBAND DID GO BACK ON DRUGS I DID NOT KNOW AT FIRST BUT WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT IT.  HE SAID THAT   HE NEED TO  WORK IT OUT ON HIS OWN WAY  SO I DID .  THERE WAS THE TIME WHEN I LEFT HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER.  AND END UP IN THE WOMAN SHELTER.  RJ WAS GETTING SICK THERE.  A COUPLE LET US STAY WITH THEM. FOR A FEW DAYS.  WELL I DID WENT BACK TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE . HE WAS GETTING HELP FOR A LITTLE BIT .  BUT THAT ONLY LAST A COUPLE MONTHS.  THEN HE TOOK US AWAY FROM MY HOME TOWN AND TOOK US TO CONN. WHERE HE IS FROM.  HE WAS GETTING WORSE SO I TOOK RJ WITH ME THE SECOND TIME I LEFT HIM.   AND STAYED WITH HIS PARENTS.  ONE NIGHT MY HUSBAND CAME OVER THE HOUSE AND TRIED TO WORK THINGS OUT  AGAIN.  I TOLD HIM HE NEEDS TO GET HELP. HE MISTREATED HIS MOTHER AT THAT TIME  AND THEY BOTH FELL TO THE FLOOR, I JUST COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I  WAS SEEING.  HE CAME OVER TO ME  AND GRAB RJ OUT MY ARMS ,AND TOOK OFF WITH HIM.   I STARTED TO GO AFTER HIM BUT HIS MOTHER SAID DON'T.  WELL I CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY CAME OVER.    A HR LATER   MY HUSBAND CALLED AT THE HOUSE AND TOLD HIS DAD WHERE TO GO GET RJ.   IT TOOK ABOUT AN HOUR TO GET THERE. AND WE MADE IT IN TIME FOR HIS MED TIME.  A COUPLE OR JUST ONE DAY LATER WE GOT A CALL FROM THE POLICE AND SAID TO GO TO THE HOUSE WHERE WE WERE LIVING SO I DID. THE NEXT DOOR  RENTER  CAME TO ME AND SAID.   HE IS DEAD.  I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I JUST STOOD BY THE POLICE CAR AND YELLED OUT THE WORD OFFICER.  HE CAME.  I ASK HIM IS HE DEAD , AND HE SAID YES,    I DON'T REMEMBER HOW NUMB I WAS BUT I NEW I HAD TO HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR LITTLE RJ . I FELT AGAIN ABANDONMENT .