IT WAS LIKE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

IT WAS NOT TO LONG AFTER I MOVED BACK ,THAT MOM WAS UP SET WITH ME AGAIN   I DO REMEMBER THAT I DID BRING UP ONCE IN AWHILE, WANTING TO KNOW ABOUT MY BIRTH MOTHER.  AND I KNOW I REMEMBER THAT I TOLD MY MOM THAT  I JUST WANT TO KNOW THINGS ABOUT HER, I AM NOT TRING TO TRIAD MOM S.  I KNOW IN MY MIND THAT MY BIRTH MOTHER GAVE ME  UP FOR SOME REASON (GOOD OR BAD STUPID WHAT EVER)  JUST BECAUSE MOM AND I ARENT CLOSE AT[ ALL.  [ NO I WOULD NOT GO TO MY BIRTH MOTHER.TO STAY] I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO AM I.  DOSE SHE LOOK LIKE ME I JUST HAD QUESTIONS.
ONE DAY  OUT OF THE BLUE ONE NIGHT MOM CAME IN TO THE ROOM WERE I WAS AND SHE DIDNT LOOK HAPPY BUT SHE SAID "I WILL FIND YOUR MOTHER JUST GIVE ME ONE WEEK.  AND SHE LEFT.  BOY I WAS SO STUNNED THAT I KNOW I WAS IN SHOCK BECAUSE THE WAY SHE WAS THAT NIGHT I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE KICK OUT AGAIN OR SHE WILL FIND MY BIRTH MOTHER, AND I KNEW THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD FIND HER, SO I THOUGHT I WILL BE TOLD TO LEAVE AT THE END OF THE WEEK.

A FEW DAY''S  GONE  BY AND MY MOM CAME TO ME AND SAID YOU ARE GOING TO MEET YOUR MOTHER IN A WEEK AT YOUR UNCLE'S HOME. I WAS STUNNED AGAIN AND I THOUGHT HOW. DID SHE KEEP THINGS FROM,ME  WHY DIDNT SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD A PEACE OF PAPER WITH HER NAME ON IT.  THE TIME CAME  TO GO TO MY UNCLE'S   UP NORTH 
 I WAS IN HIS LIVING ROOM AND I WAS SO NERVOUS AND I HEARD A CAR DOOR SHUT AND I WENT TO THE KITCHEN AND I  LOOK OUT THE WINDOW,   MY FIRST WORDS WERE, [OH MY GOSH. GASPING FOR AIR AND SAYING IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR.]  I RAN TO THE BATHROOM AND I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND NOTICED THAT I HAD NO COLOR IN MY FACE WILL JUST PACING BACK AND FORTH AND WHEN I HEARD THE DOOR BELL AND HEARD HER VOICE I SLOWLY CAME OUT  AND CAME TOWARD HER.     SHE TOLD ME HER NAME AND I WAS SPEECHLESS BECAUSE I COULD NOT REMEMBER MY OWN NAME.  WELL WE TRIED TO GET 23 OR 24 YEARS IN TO 6 HRS.  WE HUG AND SIT TOGETHER AND SHE TOLD ME WHY .  SHE WAS 18 YEARS OF AGE  AND NOT MARRIED AND THE BOY FRIEND SAID [HOW DO YOU KNOW IT IS MY BABY.]  AND LEFT HER..
 I UNDERSTAND EVEN THOUGHT I JUST COULD NOT DO THAT.  I DO KNOW WITH ALL MY HEART THAT SHE DID THE RIGHT THING FOR HER.  I NEVER DID GET TO KNOW MY BIRTH FATHER BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL TO KNOW HAS MUCH I DO KNOW ABOUT MY BIRTH MOTHER. EXCEPTIONALLY THAT I LOOK LIKE HER.  IT HEAL A LOT  OF  THINGS THAT HELP ME GET CLOSER.  BY LOOKING LIKE HER .IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE  I AM NOT FROM MARS OR SOME OTHER PLACE. MY PARENTS THAT I GROWN UP WITH THY ARE GOOD PARENTS IT WAS JUST THERE WAS NO HUGS AND MY MOM PRIDE GETS IN THE WAY ALOT HAD SHE SPENDS MOST OF HER TIME IN READING  AND DAD JUST DID NOT KNOW HOW TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAUGHTERS MY PARENTS DID GET MARRIED LATE IN LIFE,  AND THAT DIDNT HELP TO DO THINGS WHEN WE GOT HOLDER. WE DID HAVE A LOT OF FUN TIMES BUT FEELING LIKE YOU DON'T BELONG WAS A BIG THING THAT I STRUGGLE WITH .